I can honestly say I never thought I would be 31, single mom of 4 doing it on my own. It feels like my ad/hd is getting worse and I can't catch a break. Dating now days is just hey your hot lets fuck or send me naked pics. Then you find out they are off and on with their ex or dating a few chicks or they just don't want to settle. I try to keep myself at arms length. I am not a one night stand kind of girl, never have been. I am still trying to hold my head up and believe I deserve more. Being taken for granted leaves a girl scared. I find myself ranting, crying and laughing cause I am so much more happy knowing the few in my life really love me but missing being close to someone, the touch, kiss, being able to talk to someone about my day. I belive in love just don't think it applies to me. And it should.
How do you guard your heart without being cold? How do you balance need from want? How do you make the spinning stop? haha Everyone is crazy, we are all bipolar, we all come with baggage, drama and warped definitions of love. Where is the balance?
Never thought at 31 I would still be finding myself. I always knew I would be growing, learning and stuggling. Who knows I may never find what I think me should be. All I can do is keep moving forward living my life like tomorrow won't be there (doesn't mean I ignore bills lol). Surround myself with friends who are focased on the same things I am in life. Maybe someday I will have less questions and more answers, or maybe there will still be just as many questions just will sound alittle different.
